The Wound

Women carry an inherent wound of not being right. And yes, I am generalizing because even those who are aware and reflect themselves still do. It seems implanted in our soul, our network and it takes oftentimes years to fully grasp it and work with it not against it.
The wound shows up as self doubt, negative self talk, people pleasing, pushing and forcing situations, acts and things that don't feel right but should be right. Right?

We always feel what is right and yet our mind, taught and conditioned by generations and society, talks against it. We end up feeling misplaced.
It feels uneasy, pressured and it hurts.

We usually start to hide in our masculine side. We start living more out of our mind, following the structures which are seen as right in a harness. As if we put on layers of masculinity to get through all of what doesn't feel right but seemingly needs to be done without having to feel it.

For some of us it might work, at least for some time, since there are opportunities to get out of this harness again and feel everything. Be everything. Rest in the feminine.

For most women though it does not work.

We're too sensitive and irritated. We break if we try to pass by or neglect our feelings. We thereby only have the simple option to accept that we might be labeled as not right. That in fact we are not right measured with the norm that constructed the "rightness" in the first place.

This sounds somewhat easy yet is anything but that.

It implies letting go of everything that doesn't feel clear and true to our soul which brings enormous instability.
Because we are ever changing and so is our intuition. We're not meant to be linear and predictable.

Insecurities in this case are of financial, social and professional nature. Especially at work, all three come together. It seems even harder, maybe impossible to get past the idea of not being right, not “functioning” right.

In some fields of work, the feminine way starts to peak through. There is more flexibility, more listening, more understanding and working with one another and the individual rhythms. These are rare companies and institutions and it requires principals and head managers being fully awake and emotionally mature.

Mostly, we are alone with our feeling of not “rightness” and what to do with it. Unwilling to put on the harness of the masculine, seemingly unprotected in our feminine.

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As always there is no “one way serves all”, as the feminine is multidimensional and complex.
But I dare to say for everyone and every aspect of feminine being it starts with acceptance and devotion.

Acceptance of uneasy judgements and loneliness. Devotion to life, to our own being itself.

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Once we start to embrace our feeling of not being right and where it guides us - be it jobs, relationships, places to live - the wound starts to heal. Because all of it feels more coherent.
This needs trust. The deeply felt trust that it'll work out. That following your intuition will always be right, even if things fall apart, job options shatter, people turn their backs on you or you have to move through heartbreak. It is always right.

The deep trust that our being is needed so desperately in this world that it will be honoured and safely kept once we start to do so ourselves. And it will be rewarded. Not because we do it right then, that's a loop. It's not another challenge to be right in the feminine way.

The feminine does not need to fix or achieve in any shape or form. It simply is. Tunes internal, trusts and remembers. Remembers how she's always been there. Remembers softness, gentleness and love within.

It will be rewarded because our energy gets louder. It will be rewarded simply because we exist.

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This all does not mean it's never uneasy again or not hard work or linked to any other feeling we label as negative, but it feels more wholesome.

This is because we have our own back then. We hold ourselves - we are devoted to ourselves, no matter the outer label. We give to ourselves the security and sanctuary we need by not overruling or pushing away our intuition.

All doubt comes from the mind. The feminine does never doubt. She does also not know-know. She feels and knows. And it's always clear.
There is no second guessing in the feminine. It takes time, always differently. It blooms. But once an impulse comes to the surface, it's final.
It carries so much wisdom and power, hence the shame and pain in analyzing and picking it apart with our mind to either manipulate it or make sense out of it is so intense and hurtful.

Yes, measured by masculine standard we are not right, how could we be? Masculine traits are not right in the feminine standard either and neither, and this is vital, is better. The feminine and masculine are equally potent and powerful and right. The question is, what fits the own being.

A truly feminine women will never not feel irritated when acting out of her mind and rational thinking only, putting on the masculine harness forever, pushing forward, pushing over, squeezing everything out, just to reach goals, deadlines or any measured productivity. It will cost her her softness and deep connection to her body. It will cost her the portal to her inner wisdom and real gifts.
She will only feel at ease when we finally let go of the idea of ever being right. When we finally let her be. No label.

It seems hard to get your head around because it's not meant for the head. It's meant for the heart, for feeling and sensing.

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Maybe you’ll make time today, to lay down and tune inward. In the midst of chaos. Things need to be done, you should go harder, says the right way, push through and rest when you’ve made it. But instead you lay down, now. Not to listen to your thoughts but to let go and to tune into all you can feel.

Not labeling it. No right, no wrong. Just letting it all be. Like an ocean of sentiments. Fear, anger, guilt, sorrow, joy, relief, love - it’s all equal. They all pass by eventually.

Maybe you’ll feel a need coming up. The need to close your eyes, or to breath deeply. Maybe hunger or thirst. Maybe tiredness and the need for an early bed time. Maybe the urge to take a walk instead of running or to take yourself out for lunch tomorrow instead of pre-cooking tonight.

That’s when you start to let her speak. When you start to become soft again. All body, all soul. Soft.

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I truly believe that sooner or later we are all brave enough to honour our wound of not being right and face it in our “right” way.

We all have all it needs to heal it within ourselves.